Being honest with others can be difficult. Honesty with oneself even more so. Pretending is how we wade through the river of life; one way for this person and something different for that person. For some we are submissive, humble, and patient. Dealing with others may require being hard, cold, and having no nonsense attitude. It’s all relative to the relationship with that person.wWhat I find the most difficult when dealing with people, and especially in a new relationship, is understanding our role in that person’s life. It can be difficult when hearing about their past experiences, partners, friends, and family. It can be difficult knowing that something or someone else made them feel good in a way you’ll never be able to replicate, whereas others have driven them to the brink of madness. Wanting to know everything is a desire and a curse; you want to know, yet once you have the knowledge, we oftentimes wish that we had never inquired to begin with. Nobody wants to hear about past partners, sexual experiences, memories either good or bad. Nobody wants to be reminded that they weren’t the first to make you smile, laugh, and cry.
A primary issue with relationships is the overwhelming need for that which you do to rise above in importance all that has been done for the individual, whether it be the first or five hundredth time. We don’t want to hear how many times you did this or that with an individual. We don’t want to hear about your sexual experiences or the ways that others have made you feel in times long past. Even though as a partner these thoughts are in our heads, spoken word is far more harsh and unforgiving. We can’t expect others to understand what experiences we do and do not want to hear about. What to them may seem like a few simple words, to use is hurtful and leaves us feeling disrespected. The line isn’t there until someone draws it, so how can one know what boundaries are not to be crossed unless stated?